Self Talk
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
It's the time of the year again! THis year, it seems like the weather is colder and has a more christmasy feel:) I like it! But yet again, does it also mean that the earth is falling sick?
Anyway, well, I had an interesting talk with my hubby recently.. rather a "discipleship" session! Hahaha.. Guess discipleship is hard for him cos I am a tough disciple.. difficult lah!
As usual, we were talking.. and recently I was reflecting on my life for the past few years.. realised that my personality has changed. My hubby said that I was not as confident as I used to be (at least not like 10 years ago when he first knew me)...
Guess I need to learn how to manage my emotions bah.. for the last few years, I have been disappointed by people.. I mean, who doesn't? But somehow, I got so disaapointed that I became a person who is very "compliant". At least this was what the personality test concluded and I took it just last week..
I became a person who is fearful of other people's opinions, who wants others to be happy even at the expense of myself.. And honestly, I realised I became even more vulnerable inside.
My dear hubby told me straight in the face: Stop being fearful of what others think! Have faith that God loves you!
Hahaha, of course I couldnt digest it at first. So, I refused to talk to him! LOL! But upon calming down, I realised its true! No matter how I try to accomodate and please others, there will still be people who will find fault with me and be displease with me. So why make things so difficult for myself? Seriously I am not happy with who I am right now? Where is the zesty Eve? Think it's true that Jewel's personality takes after me.. The "dao dao", know what she wants and do it herself style. So when I see this little princess daily, I feel God is also telling me to just be myself! Not that I take pride in being DAO, but at least don;t be too bothered about trying to make everyone else happy. I mean, I got to be happy and God must be happy with me:)That's what matters!
Well, I am still breaking forth... THis is a good pitstop for me. Many people may think that I am not doing well in my career blah blah blah.. But rather I feel this is a good time for me to reflect and have a pitstop! Like what I have said in the earlier post, I got to be secure to have a pitstop!
Actually I am rather excited for the things that are to come next year! hehehehe... A year of NEW beginnings:) So I am declaring: NEW HOUSE, NEW SEASON, NEW FRUITS, NEW TEAM! Exciting!!!
As for now, I will be looking forward to my 21st birthday celebration with my girlfriends eating my favourite Jap food! Yummie:)
And of course, the leaders retreat which I believe is going to be so fun (cos my parents are going too!), of course Christmas, New year... And Ja's new start in his primary school!
Thank You Jesus:) I love you! Muack!
Toodles:)
Labels: Reflections, self talk
Sign off, ♥ Eve
7:25 PM